My mother lost custody of three of her children before she met my father. Because of her age, my mother never expected to have any more children. So when my mother would called me her "little Samuel" I thought it was because I was an answer to prayer. I was a child she so wanted but didn't expect. I was God's consolation prize for to make up for the children she had lost in an ugly legal battle. This put an incredible burden on me as a child and teen to never let her down, but that is for another blog entry.
I now know that the reason my mom called me her "little Samuel" was not because I was an answer to prayer but because like Hannah my mom had dedicated me to the Lord and like Samuel as a young child I heard from the Lord. At a very early age I learned not only hear the voice of God but more importantly to respond. As I grew as into an adult, God's voice has seemed more distance, harder to discern. I remember recently telling my wife as we were trying to make tough decisions regarding our careers and our finance, that I felt I had all together lost the ability to hear God's voice. I no longer knew what it sounded like.
We arrived in Florida on Saturday to temporarily live with my in-laws since we rented our home in Westchester as my wife and I both seek career direction. I was pretty tired from our trip but I felt like I should go online and see if I could find a church we could attend the following morning. This didn't make sense, we hadn't yet unpacked our bags, besides, it wouldn't be as good as my church C3M in New York, yet despite these excuses I went online and found a church called the Bridge in Bradenton. The next day we got up early and made the long trek the chuch, where the pastor starting a lecture series based on a book he was reading, "The Power of a Whisper" by Bill Hybels. The message he gave was a simple , not anyway near the intellectual somersaults I was use to, but it was exactly the message I needed to hear. I realized, God hadn't stopped speaking to me, I forgot how to hear His voice and I would have to get back on a mission to having Samuel's ear to hear God's voice and obey it. In that simple but elegant message I realized God had been in fact whispering to me all along, and it started with the whisper to go online and find a church even though it would have been reasonable for me to take a Sunday off after 22 hours behind the wheel.
In the book, "The Power of a Whisper" Bill Hybels says, "Do you think anyone is orchestrating those ideas that float through your mind? I mean, do you think your thoughts are just random, or is it possible that God is trying to communicate to you in some way?" As I read this book, I find myself on a mission to have Samuel's ear and hear God's voice by slowing down, blocking out all the extra noise and distractions of this world and listen to His whispers.
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